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  • Claire Cleary

Wish you could change someone? Here's what you can do...

Not feeling the love this Valentine's Day? Relationships can be difficult. We often wish other people would act differently. We think, “If she would only __, then I wouldn’t get annoyed and we would get along better.” Or, “If he would just __, then I would feel better.”


People will act however they want. We can’t control them. And, wishing they were different only causes us frustration and certainly doesn’t help our relationships. But, just because we can’t get people to change, doesn’t mean we can’t improve our relationships.


If just one person changes, the relationship changes. So, you have the power to change a relationship all by yourself. You just need to change your thoughts about what other people should be doing. Accept that they will do things differently than you would like.


Your friend is always late. Your mother gives you unsolicited advice. Your husband doesn’t acknowledge everything you do. You can still love them and enjoy your relationship. You just need to choose thoughts that make you feel love for them. You get to decide what you want to think about EVERYTHING. You decide what things mean to you.


When your friend is late you could think that she doesn’t respect your time. You could also think that she’s super busy but still makes time to get together with you.When your mother gives you unsolicited advice, you could think she doesn’t approve of the way you are doing things. You could also think that she cares so much about you and wants to spare you of any difficulties.


When your husband doesn’t acknowledge something you’ve done, you could think he doesn’t appreciate you. You could also think that he loves and appreciates you regardless of what you do or don’t do.


When you change your thoughts, you then change how you feel and how you act. And, when you act differently, people tend to act differently towards you. Try it and see! Have a great weekend.

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